Happy or Surviving?

Am I happy or surviving? This is a question that a good friend just posed to me recently.  My answer...depends on the day!  This past week was a week of highs and lows.  But while the challenging times can be difficult, the Lord continues to show Himself faithful...providing what we need, when we need it.

So here are a few highs and lows of this week:

We were able to share a meal with two other families who also moved to Hong Kong with Andy's company.  It was great to get together, share experiences, commiserate with one another, laugh with one another, and connect! Our kids played with one another after they ate, and then the adults sat out on the balcony, overlooking the water, sharing a meal.  It was such an encouragement, and we feel very blessed to be able to do this alongside others whom we really enjoy spending time with.

My transit issue with Abby got resolved.  Only by God's grace did we figure out that she could take a twenty minute bus ride to a closer bus stop right off the MTR, instead of me having to travel for over an hour to get her.  I was leaving at 10am and getting home around 12:30pm.  Her new bus stop is about 20-25 minutes away....if all goes the way it is supposed to go.  And when you are depending on public transportation, it doesn't always go according to plan...

    ...after riding the bus with her on Monday to her new  bus stop to make sure she was comfortable, I felt fairly confident that this was going to be great and save me a ton of time. On Tuesday, I left just before 11am, caught a HLY(Hong Lok Yuen) bus to the Tai Wo MTR pretty quickly, took the train to the Fo Tan station three stops down, and walked across the street to where the bus was going to drop Abby off.  Pretty easy.  I arrived there with 25 minutes to spare.  While I waited, I spoke to a man who Andy had met and gotten to know in the mornings when he drops Abby off.  He was extremely nice, and lived in the high rise where the bus stop was located.  That night, Andy mentioned that he was going to get this man's phone number just in case he was running late in the morning.  Knowing my husband, I thought this was an excellent idea!  On Wednesday I had a relaxed  morning that was filled with laundry...but I will get to that later.  So I went out to catch the HLY bus (down at the corner) and I had just missed the 11am bus by about a minute.  No problem, I thought, since they come every 15 minutes and I had plenty of time.  So I waited...and waited...it was 11:20 and the bus was finally in sight.  As I went to get my ticket out of my pocket, the bus driver beeped and drove by, indicating that the bus was full.  This had only happened to me once before...on a weekend.  Now I was starting to panic a bit.  I immediately looked for a taxi.  I usually saw two or three drive by while waiting for the bus, but of course, there were none to be seen! So as I was praying about what to do, I decided to text Andy to see if he had gotten his friend's phone number.  Sure enough, he had, and even offered to call him and explain the situation.  As I finally got on the bus after waiting for 30 minutes, Andy got back to me and let me know that his friend was more than happy to get Abby off the bus.  So as I got to the stop, only five minutes late, but late nonetheless, Andy's friend, his wife and his daughter were standing there talking to Abby...and Abby had a smile on her face.  Yet again, the Lord provided.

The other challenge of the week was that my washer and dryer stopped working properly at different times.  Now don't get me wrong, I am extremely thankful that I have both.  But these machines are about one third the size that I am used to, and the washer takes over an hour to run it's cycle, so you can only imagine how long it takes me to do wash for our family of seven.  Factor in that I wasn't able to do any laundry for five days, and you can picture what my home looks like with all my piles! Luckily, I have an amazing and very handy husband who took care of the problems, and my children have enough uniforms to keep them going.

All that being said, we had some great family time at the club pool and restaurant.  We went out to lunch after church with new friends who are very easy to be with (and whose children get along with our kids and are the same ages). I am starting to get into a groove with grocery shopping and cooking. And, the kids got to go trick or treating in our neighborhood.  So there are definitely days we are happy...and other days we are surviving.  But I think the challenge of it all is how I am going to respond to my circumstances?  It would be easy to fall into self-pity, or just stay in a bubble and only go out if I have to...but look how much I would miss.  No, I don't believe that we are supposed to be in Hong Kong living "safely"...don't get me wrong, we will be safe...but we will live in the moment and be "all in." In Philippians we are called to be content in all circumstances, and in 1Thessalonians we are called to be thankful.  So these are my challenges: contentment and thanksgiving...in the happy times... or times of survival.

Pic#1 Getting ready to go trick or treating...Hong Kong style.  Sarah slept on my lap while I handed out candy...and people LOVED our littlest pumpkin!
Pic#2 Our smily Sarah
Pic#3 Grace, the US soccer player holding our pumpkin
Pic#4 Abby met a friend on the MTR on our way to lunch...they talked for at least 15 minutes...not sure if it was English, Mandarin or both!
Pic #5 Totally relaxed!

One Quarter Down...

We had first quarter parent-teacher conferences tonight for Grace, Emma and Joshua...eight conferences within about two hours, with about a ten minute break.  It was quite an experience.  First, we have amazing friends who brought their own four kids to watch four of our kids (Emma came with us to lead her conference).  I even left Sarah, which was the right decision with all the running around we had to do.  Emma and I met Andy there...actually arriving at the same time (on time :)) Part of the major changes is that we now have a middle schooler who has seven different teachers...so we needed to decide which teachers to meet with, and then did they have an opening that would work with us. So after looking at Grace's teachers' openings and compared them to Emma and Josh's teacher's openings, we came up with two hours of fun.

I'm not sure I have been more proud of my children.  Forgive me for bragging...as we told their teachers, it's all the Lord...but each of their teachers could not believe how well-adjusted they had become in such a short period of time.  Now they are not straight A students, but that is never the first question we ask.  We always start with their character...how are they in the classroom? Each of their teachers, before we even asked, were delighted with how they have fit in, how respectful they are, and how hard they have worked.  I almost got emotional, just thinking about how much they have been through in the last six weeks.  For them to come to a new country on the other side of the world, two and a half weeks late to school, without their mom, and already become adjusted, can only be explained by God's amazing grace.  My children love school...and they have been placed with some amazing teachers.  Now, they work very hard, but we are learning that they cannot compare themselves to their classmates...we are only asking that they try their best.  This is not always easy. Our children have two pretty competitive parents, and they go to school with some children who eat, sleep and breathe academics, but letting go of perfection and being more concerned about their best is what we are focusing on.

The other amazing thing tonight was to see their progress with Chinese.  They take Mandarin every day.  It blows me away that they are reading and writing Chinese...something Andy and I cannot even help them with since we are clueless-which is why we haven't really seen their work.  In fact, as I have reference before, we haven't helped them in this area at all.  We send Josh to Emma. We send Emma to Grace.  And Grace has found a friend who has taken four years of Chinese.  It's very humbling, in a good way, to see your six year old's work and have NO IDEA what it means.  Really, it was quite funny.

So we will continue to take each day as it comes, and learn as we go.  We feel incredibly blessed to be where we are, having the opportunity to be stretched in new ways, rely on the Lord, and strive to choose joy independent of our circumstances.  This past week was our first experience with Andy traveling...going to Japan on Monday, and returning from Shanghai on Thursday.  While it wasn't easy, it was great that Andy wasn't gone for a weekend, didn't have jet lag, and was in, or almost in, the same time zone.  It's so true that God gives you what you need, when you need it.  While Andy was gone, I had two nights of full sleep (thanks Sarah!) and the kids only had two days of school this week. 

Finally, a quick shout out to our moms...Betsy Gregory and Linda Puffenberger have birthdays today...we love and miss you!!!

Hong Kong ID Card...Part 2

So if you read an earlier post, you may have noticed how important it is to have a Hong Kong ID card.  It is basically your license and most prominent form of indentification.  The other thing is that you are supposed to get your ID card within 30 days of getting here.  This past weekend, when Andy and I went to schedule an appointment, that left us this week to get it done.  Yes, nothing like a little procrastination.  We also really wanted to get an appointment in Fo Tan, which I am familiar with and only about 20 minutes away instead of in Kowloon, where Andy got his ID card.  So, as we sat down to schedule the appointment, it was a little disheartening to see the earliest Fo Tan opening was next week, after my deadline.  Then, when we went to check openings in Kowloon, there were only a few on Friday, during my children's parent-teacher conferences-so that wouldn't work.  It seemed our only option was to try and walk-in.  "Walking-in" could add a couple hours of waiting, and oh yeah, I was bringing my children since they had off school and Andy was leaving for a four-day trip.  So we went back to the Fo Tan site, deciding that if I was going to walk-in, I was going to walk-in at Fo Tan.  Then...MIRACULOUSLY, an opening at 9:15am on Monday.  Someone at that precise time decided to cancel their appointment.  I immediately said "Take it!" not really thinking through what that meant, but knowing it had to be better than the alternative. 

The next morning, my children weren't exactly excited about making my 9:15am appointment on a day they could have slept in, but they rolled with it.  We got out in good time, and actually found the immigration department easily, and a little before 9:00am, when it opened.  But, what we found were easily over 100 people waiting in lines.  Not sure which line to get into(nothing marked), I asked someone who looked like they knew, showing my appointment time.  He put me in a line that didn't seem too long, but it was hard to tell.  Josh and Abby asked for their goldfish, which I hesitated giving since I wasn't sure how long we would be waiting, but said, "when they're gone, they're gone," and handed them over.  It wasn't long before they let our line in first, breaking us up into three different lines leading to people behind windows.  They also ushered my older children into a waiting area where I would be joining them as soon as I saw the person behind the window to give me a number.  You might think that this was unsafe, but here in Hong Kong, I have never felt more safe, or feared for the safety of my children.  I could also see them from my line.  After being in line for about 10 minutes, I received my number and waited in the area with my kids, who were now onto their hand held electronics.  I waited about 15 minutes before my number was called, and went to someone at a desk.  This was the part I was most anxious about.  Andy said they were very critical in checking the paperwork.  As the woman looked at my answers, she asked me some questions, and I could understand her pretty well.  She also smiled at my sleeping Sarah in the front carrier.  Then, after being fingerprinted, she asked if I had someone with me who could hold the baby since I had to get photographed.  I was kind of hoping she would make it work since Sarah was low enough, and since she was sleeping, but not to be.  I went back to Emma, Abby and Josh (Grace was at a friend's house) and handed Sarah to Emma.  Of course, Abby started to have a fit because she wanted to hold her and I tried to appease her with a promise that she will have a turn later.  This didn't do much, but that's all I had time for.  I went back to the woman to get my pic taken, hearing Sarah's cries and Abby's appeals for her turn...imagining in my mind what was taking place...

Finally, after 5 minutes, I got back to them and placed Sarah back in the carrier.  I waited another 10 minutes before getting called back again, checking my fingerprints and then they handed me my temporary card.  And not a moment too long because Abby decided that she had had enough.  We were out of there in five minutes...thanking God that we did not have to walk-in, as we walked past over 100 people in a separate waiting area, hoping that they would get called.  Isn't it amazing when the Lord answers prayers that haven't even been spoken yet, or that we didn't know we needed. This was definitely one of those times...one of many we have already had, and I'm praying there are many more to come!

My First "Hong Kong Moment"

What do you mean, "Hong Kong Moment"? It's a phrase that I heard often when I first came almost three weeks ago.  Andy, Rebecca and the kids would use it when things went a "little differently" than planned.  OK, sometimes it was a lot differently.  Our favorite story so far occurred before Abby, Sarah and I arrived.  It was sometime during the first two weeks, the kids were challenged daily with the amount of homework they were getting, and therefore, what time they were going to bed.  They were also struggling with all the pressure that went along with these changes, sometimes resulting in breakdowns.  So as my oldest was having one of these meltdowns at 10pm, she woke up daughter #2, who had already been asleep for over an hour.  When Emma woke up, she started crying out , "This is NOT going to work!" Yes, Emma can be dramatic, and we can laugh about it now, and we often use that phrase when we are having a "Hong Kong Moment."

So my first major "Hong Kong Moment" came today.  I was going to my friends house to have our weekly get together and prayer time.  I live for these times.  So I was so excited to get there, greet her two younger children, and take all my "stuff" off...including my purse, my baby (in the front carrier) and my diaper bag...uh-oh...the diaper bag (a book bag) was not on my back! I immediately knew that I had left it on the train.  I hadn't been at my friend's flat for two minutes before she was dialing the MTR to call customer service and see if they had found it.  Luckily, her MTR stop is the last on the line, so they often sweep the trains before heading the other way.  Sure enough, the person on the other line asked, "Does it have a bible in it?" That's the one.  So I headed back to the MTR, about an 8 minute walk, to collect my bag.  When I got there, I told the man that my bag was there and I was there to collect it.  He repeated, "the one with the bible in it?" Yep, that's the one.  He went back and brought out another man who had my bag in hand. I identified it again, and to myself I was thinking how blessed I am and how easy this was.  Then, he asked for my Hong Kong ID card.  I hadn't gotten mine yet.  Then, he asked for my passport.  I didn't have that either.  Andy had taken it because of some paperwork and had not returned it.  The man could not believe that I didn't have either in my possession.  He then asked if I had my passport number.  Maybe I'm the only one who doesn't have her passport # memorized.  Didn't have that either, but I told him I would try to get it.  Now I am feeling very alone.  Very unprepared. Very frustrated that I have no ID on me.  I called Andy to see if he had my passport on him.  After finally pulling him out of a meeting with my four calls and "urgent" text, he tells me he left them at home.  Now I am upset and tears are starting to stream down my face.  Granted, I have just been through a month of cry-fest with all the change and being postpartum, but this emotional reaction kind of took me by surprise.  Finally, Andy asked me if I had my Hong Lok Yuen (our community) card.  This has my picture and name on it.  Yes I did.  I handed it over, and the man said that he would check if it would work.  He went in the back room and came back two minutes later to let me know that it worked.  He finally brought my bag out to me and had me sign for it.  Needless to say, I will not be walking around without my passport until I get my ID card :) Lesson learned...and I survived my first, but probably not my last "Hong Kong Moment."

Two Months Ago....

Two months ago today, our family was blessed with another sweet baby girl.  We welcomed Sarah Jane Puffenberger into our family on August 14th at 6:06pm.  In order to remember her exciting birth, especially amidst all the other craziness going on in our family, I am sharing her birth story for this post...it was one we will never forget...but just in case, I wanted to record it.

On Monday, August 13th, we had scheduled our air shipment to leave for Hong Kong ahead of us.  This was a big day because we had spent weeks deciding what to take, give away, throw away, or store away.  When the packers came, we finally were able to get a big hurdle out of the way and see what would fit in our weight allotment.  Luckily for us, we squeezed everything we had hoped to take...whew! We were also relieved that I had not had the baby before then...not sure how we would have handled it if we had.  We did schedule an induction on Wednesday...for a couple reasons.  1)we were trying to balance family time, and if I had the baby on Wed I would be home by Friday, and thus, we would have had two weekends together before the "first shift"left for Hong Kong. 2)When you have four other children, it's nice to be able to plan childcare. 3)Wednesday was the 15th of August, and we had three other children born on the 15th of the month.  So Wednesday was looking good!

On Tuesday, my sweet grandmother had planned to take my older two daughters for pedicures for their birthdays.  She had missed Grace's b-day in June since we were at the beach, and Emma would be in Hong Kong for her birthday.  The salon was in Hockessin, closer to where my grandmother lived, so I joined them...to bring them home, and I wanted my toes to look pretty, too.  As we were leaving at 4pm, I experience a larger than normal flow of liquid leave my body.  Now, having four babies, and being pregnant with a fifth, it is not abnormal to have incontinence...so that was my first thought.  But, this was a little more than normal, so my second thought was that my water broke.  Now, my water had never broken outside the hospital before, so I began to try to remember how much time I had and if there was anything else I was supposed to do. I did ask my grandmother if she had any towels in her car, and when she told me she only had tissues, I told her what I thought was happening.  She was so excited and gave me her flannel blanket she uses for picnics.  I didn't know how absorbent it was, but it was better than nothing...and I had a 30-40 minute drive home!

On the way home, Andy called to ask what we should do for dinner, and I suggested that we stay home since we will need to get ready to go to the hospital...crickets.  "Are you sure?"  Yep! 
So I decided to lay down, since I had only had one contraction on the way home, while Andy was cleaning up the kitchen.  We also had decided that I was going to try to give him a haircut before we left.  Yes, I know.  A haircut when you're in labor? But Andy needed one and contractions were not too intense...yet.  About half-way through, I had to intense contractions, so I told Andy that that he could either get the rest of his haircut, or a shower, but we didn't have time for both...we needed to go! He chose the shower, I called my brother to come watch the kids, and we were off by 5:15.  By the time we had been in the car for 5 minutes, my contractions were 1-2 minutes apart.  I was busily texting in between contractions.  Our friend, Melissa, is the nursing coordinator at the hospital and was on that day. She wanted to be notified when we were coming in...so we let her know, with all the details.  I also texted, and Andy talked to, our friend Jocelyn, who is the pediatric hospitalist and was on that night.  As Andy talked to Jocelyn, giving her details of how close my contractions were, she was telling him that she could meet us on the side of the road.  When I would ask him what she was saying, he was telling me that I was going to be fine...he was doing his best to keep me calm during our 40 minute drive, during rush hour, to the hospital.

As we arrived at the hospital, it was like a scene in a movie.  Both Melissa and Jocelyn converged on our car at the same time.  Jocelyn had come from the parking lot and grabbed Andy's keys to park the car, and Melissa had come out of the hospital with a wheel chair for me.  As she wheeled me pass the from desk, they handed Andy a blue sheet to be filled out later and told us to go on back.  When we got back to triage, I remember the hallway being lined with nurses saying, "this is Puffenberger," as they directed us to the room, where two nurses and a doctor were waiting for me.  Melissa had done a great job preparing them for me!  In seconds, they had me in a gown and getting checked, only to find I was 8cm.  Without an IV, they called my doctor and rushed me upstairs to labor and delivery. When I got up there, two of my doctors were waiting (shift change).  They checked me, and told me that I could push during my next contraction. One contraction/two pushes later...Sarah was born. Eleven minutes after arriving at the hospital...the fastest eleven minutes of my life!  I remember feeling like "what just happened?" But she was beautiful, already pink and crying, and she looked just like the other four...amazing!

So Miss Sarah came with a bang.  She had to, she's the fifth.  But in the midst of moving to Hong Kong, I wanted to make sure that we don't forget this amazing miracle that we have been blessed with, and I am trying everyday to enjoy her.  She is growing so fast...and she has been such a trooper.

 

She was great on the 15 hour flight, travels with us during long days...including every day to get her big sis from preschool, goes food shopping with me, and is eating and sleeping well. She has captured our hearts, and we ALL are head over heels in love with her.  While Hong Kong is not the easiest place to have a newborn, I could not imagine doing this without her. So here are some newborn 2 week pics (taken by my good and talented friend, Brianna) and some more recent 2 month pics.  Hopefully you can see that she is chubalicious, and we are enjoying her smiles!

Abby's First Week of School

So it's really hard for me to believe that it's only been a week since we have been on our own without our friends.  I feel like this week has been an eternity! The biggest hurdle has been Abby going to school.  Just like Andy did with the older kids, he and I decided we would ride the bus with her on her first day.  What I didn't realize was she was scheduled to be on the bus for an hour and a half!  I didn't find this out until that morning when I received an email from the bus contractor.  As we were on the bus, I couldn't help but pray and wonder if I was supposed to home school my four year old.  If you know me, just thinking about it was a big deal for me.  As we arrived to school, all I knew was that this situation needed to change...and Andy felt the same way.

From there, Andy went to work and I went to meet a new friend.  Andy and I briefly spoke and came up with an alternative idea, but didn't know if it was going to be accepted. As I met with my friend, the bus contractor called to see how the morning went.  When I shared my concerns, he was totally understanding and was supportive of our idea for Andy to bring Abby to another stop later in the morning to catch the bus, and therefore, only be a rider for 25 minutes. This give me great peace, especially since she loves school, and loves riding the bus...and yes, I still can't believe I put my 4 year old on a school bus!

The other part of this, of course, is that I need to pick her up everyday.  There is no bus that brings her home.  As Rebecca and I figured out before she left, there is actually a bus that will help tremendously in this situation.  So, my commute to pick her up entails : bus from our community to Tai Wo MTR, train from Tai Wo to University MTR, then bus from University to Heng On MTR, which is right by Abby's school.  I will never complain about picking up a preschooler in the states again!  This takes me a little over an hour(one way), but I have found that I don't mind it, as long as I am not stressed about timing.  The pressure of timing still weighs on me, and I liken it to carrying a weight in the water vs. on land....the weight/burden is much heavier on land/when I'm running late vs in the water when it is lighter/when I have plenty of time.  Who knows what the future will bring, but for now, it is working for us.  And Sarah just sleeps the entire time in the carrier...such a sweet girl.

The other big thing for me this week is that my friend, Bernadette, asked me if I wanted to meet, pray and read through 1 Corinthians together on a weekly basis.  She is from Australia, and her and her family have befriended us, even before we arrived.  The way we connected is for another post, but her four children are about the same ages as our older children, and Grace and her oldest have especially connected...a huge blessing for both of them.  Bernadette and Robb have been a huge encouragement to us...being there when Josh needed stitches, helping with furniture stores, and Robb, being an IT guy, has been a great resource when it has come to trying to get wifi in our house.  We are so blessed by there friendship, and it has been fun to learn some "Australian lingo" along the way!

Well, everyday is an adventure here.  I also attempted the grocery store and finally went swimming in the pool with Abby.  We are incredibly blessed by the many ways the Lord has showed up for us in too many ways to count.  Thank you for your prayers and encouragement as we continue the transition process.

First Week in Hong Kong

It has been a crazy busy week...trying to cram lots of information in my tired head before our live-in saint, Rebecca, left for home yesterday.  Navigating the MTR (train system) wasn't too difficult, as I remembered a lot from our trips here in May.  The thing I struggle with the most, I realized, is the aspect that you are not in control.  I dislike being late, and sometimes it doesn't matter how far ahead I plan, the bus from our community to the MTR station could be running late...or the trains could be so packed that I cannot get on the first one that comes.  All of this is stretching me, and pinpoints my need for control.  There are lots of other areas of needing control...but this one seems to be at the top right now.

Another thing that has been most challenging is the homework.  It was a difficult decision to come to Hong Kong in shifts, but I am so glad the older children didn't miss any more school than they did.  The homework here is intense, and we are still trying to get a handle on it.  It is getting a little better now that they are catching up on what they missed, and getting used to it, as well.  But it is not uncommon for Josh, 1st grade, to have an hours worth of hw, Emma three hours, and Grace is often up until 10pm.  The other night, when Ron, Rebecca and Andy were out running errands, I was trying to figure out how to help all three.  I figured out that if I can get Emma done (who usually just needs encouragement, anyway), then she can help Josh (who usually has Chinese-which I can't help with, but Emma can) and then I can focus on Grace.

Finally, yesterday we said goodby to Ron and Rebecca...even writing this brings tears to my eyes.  It's not that I don't think we can survive without them...in fact, just this morning the Lord brought to my attention 2 Peter 1:3 (His divine power gives us everything we need for life and godliness...)but there is still a loneliness that I face, and even more importantly, I just appreciate and am so grateful for all that they did for us.  It was incredibly sacrificial of them to give a month's time of being together so that Rebecca could come to Hong Kong.  She encouraged, nurtured and loved on my older three children, watching out of for them and seeing them through this transition...all the while, trying to figure out the ins and outs of living here.  She supported Andy, pushed back when needed, and balanced him out when necessary.  And this past week she was incredibly helpful (cooking all week), making sure I knew pertinent information, and giving me opportunities to try things on my own, so I could have the confidence to know I could do it. And I could never had flown over by myself with my two littles, six 70lb bags/boxes and three carryons.  He was extremely patient and held a baby more in the last week than he has in his entire life.  Not to mention all of his technology expertise and being my husband's best friend...it was such a gift!

So our first week alone is upon us.  Abby begins school tomorrow and Andy and I are planning to ride the bus with the four kids, at least her first couple days.  I'm sure I will let you know how that goes...

Here are some pics from our travels and first weeks here...